I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
