She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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