What did we do last night that was yellow?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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