And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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