Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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