Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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