worst night to have a conscience
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
