Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
