sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
