so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
