Welp...herpes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
