Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
