I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That accounts for only three of the penises
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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