We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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