YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
