i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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