Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
