so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
