my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
