I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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