In the future we'll all be gay
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize