what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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