I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
