Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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