Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
