That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize