just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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