I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize