are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
