They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
