Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
