There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
