I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I had to cum in my sink.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
