pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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