ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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