girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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