I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
