I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
