its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
