I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
