It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
