Jerry, you need to find god
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
