ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
