It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
