I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
