can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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