i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
