I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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