I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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