I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Be still, my beating vagina.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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