I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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