my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He passed out mid-signature
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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