I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
