PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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