omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
