Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
