They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
