omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
