What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
