Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize