I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
