Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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