Have you finally orgasmed yet?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
