People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
FUCK WHALES
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
