I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
