Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
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Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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